We Aren't So Different
by athenanoctea
Summary: It wasn’t simple for him to tell her what was in his heart. Ronon/Keller


**Title**: We Aren't So Different

**Author**: carpenyx

**Date**: 05/19/08

**Rating**: PG

**Summary**: It wasn't simple for him to tell her what was in his heart.

**Spoilers**: Very light spoilers up to the end of season 4.

**Beta**: nytel

**Disclaimer**: Just playing in the Pegasus Galaxy with my flyboys. No copyright infridgment intended.

**A/N**: Written for sgonesweetlove's (located on livejournal) A Chance to Get Creative challenge.

**We Aren't So Different**

It had been a long morning already—she could feel the tension in her muscles as she walked down the corridor. She had finished up some last minute work, went for her early run, and spent the rest of the morning packing her luggage for her trip back to Earth. Yet despite the soreness and sleepiness she was overly excited for the adventure she was about to embark on.

When Jen reached her destination she saw that the door was already open, but she didn't immediately see anyone inside the sleeping quarters. She tapped her knuckles against the entryway and called out, "Ronon?"

He wasn't even sure what he was doing. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. He had never had this much trouble packing before. Ronon was in the bathroom when he heard his name. He leaned to the side and poked his head out. "Just a minute," he told his female visitor.

Jen lingered in the doorway, debating if it was appropriate to invite herself in or not given their… situation. It hadn't exactly been established between them, verbally, if they were officially dating. However, after spending a lot more time together, specifically outside of work, their relationship had definitely stepped up a notch.

Ronon finally came out of the other room and stopped mid-stride, looking at Jen. "Why are you still standing there?"

"I… I," she fumbled with her words.

Ronon was still looking at her.

It made her more anxious when he just stared at her like that. "I wasn't sure if I was allowed?" she said, even though she knew that wasn't the best choice of words.

Ronon grinned and shook his head. Sometimes he didn't understand her, but he always found the aura of awkwardness that surrounded her to be amusing and sweet, all at the same time. He walked over to his bed where he had his duffle bag, clothes, and a collection of knives laid out. "You can come in," he finally told her.

Given the permission, that she wasn't really sure she needed, Jen felt a little more at ease. She was aware of her gaucheness at times, which in turn made her more self-conscious and thus created a never-ending circle of strangeness. "Thanks," she said as she slipped into the chair next to his bed.

"You don't need to be nervous around me. I think we've passed that stage," he explained to her.

"I… I…" She did it again.

Ronon chuckled and faced her. He knelt down in front of Jen, taking her hands into his. He looked at her, his expression one of genuine curiosity. "Why are you still uneasy around me?"

Jen shrugged her shoulders. "I don't mean to be."

"You don't have to be," he assured her.

When he said the words, she believed him. Jen smiled softly and was about to say something when she caught sight of an object out of the corner of her eye. "Um, Ronon?"

"Yeah?" he asked, following her line of sight.

"Why are you packing your knives?"

"We're going off world and I want to be prepared," he said.

"We're going to Earth," she stated.

"Right." Ronon rose and turned, unsheathing one of the knives, twirling it and sheathing it again. He wrapped the bundle of knives in a cloth and put them into the duffle bag.

"We're going to a small town in Wisconsin, Ronon. There'll be no need for weapons," she explained.

"The last couple of times I visited Earth it didn't go so well, what with the Replicators and the IOA."

Jen couldn't really deny his logic. "The IOA are evilish… but we'll be visiting my aunt and enjoying a nice leave. I promise you won't need them. Besides, I'll protect you," she said with a playful wink.

That was the Jen he'd grown to admire, the one who was comfortable and light-hearted. It wasn't easy to find the simple things to be happy about being in Atlantis, not when they were doing the work they did, and seeing the things they saw everyday. That was especially true for Ronon. Since Jen, he felt like some of the weight had been lifted – maybe not all of it, but enough that he found himself at ease in her presence. He was a different man now, and the old version seemed like a mere memory. "You protect me?" he challenged.

"That worst thing that could happen is you'll be subjected to my aunt's fruitcake," she teased.

"Fruitcake?"

Jennifer laughed softly. "Are you almost ready?"

Ronon examined his pack and decided he was as prepared as he was going to get. He removed the blades from the bag and set them on the nightstand. "I'm ready," he finally said as he zipped up the duffle and hoisted it over his shoulder. "Where's your stuff?"

"One of the officers took it to the Gate Room for me," she told him.

Ronon took her hand into his again. "Let's go," he said as they both walked out and headed to the Gate.

oooooooooooooooo

Colonel Carter, Colonel Sheppard, and Teyla were all gathered near the Stargate waiting for them. Carter wanted to make sure Ronon understood certain Earth rules, and the other two wanted to see their friends off.

Sam smiled a little as she regarded Ronon. "Remember what we talked about."

Ronon grunted dismissively. "I won't fight with Teal'c or the General… or anyone else."

Teyla couldn't help but smile at the exchange between the Colonel and Ronon. Soon, Sheppard was interrupting Sam and almost demanding to have his time with Ronon. Teyla shook her head at the boys and turned to Jennifer. "I hope that you have a lovely vacation, Doc…" she remembered Doctor Keller insisted on being called by her first name when off duty, "Jennifer."

"Thank you, Teyla." She smiled warmly at the Athosian.

Teyla stepped forward and gave the other woman a hug. "Be safe and remember to have a good time," she said softly.

"You do the same," Jen replied.

Teyla moved to Ronon next, embracing him and saying her goodbyes.

"Be good kids and don't do anything I wouldn't," Sheppard said with a mischievous smirk.

Teyla laughed softly.

Once the event horizon settled, both Ronon and Jennifer said their final farewells and along with the other personnel taking leave, they headed through the stargate.

oooooooooooooooo

It took most of the afternoon to get through all of the paperwork, security, and speaking with General Landry before they were able to leave Stargate Command. They didn't encounter any problems. Ronon had almost lost his temper a couple of times with some of the officials, but overall had managed to be on his best behavior.

Jennifer wasn't accustomed to seeing Ronon in 'normal' clothes since she was so used to the Satedan garbs. It definitely made her emotions go into overdrive and she swooned a little.

The looks he got from Jen didn't go unnoticed, but he kept that fact to himself.

The flight from Colorado to Wisconsin didn't take all that long. They landed by mid-evening and reached Jennifer's old place within an hour of departing the airport.

Ronon had taken note of how much more at ease Jen was since arriving on Earth. She was back in her element. She was the same way when working diligently in the sickbay. It made him feel more comfortable seeing her like this.

He stood behind her as she searched for the keys to unlock the door. It seemed like a quiet town, not unlike some of the villages on Sateda. He missed that peace and quiet a little.

Jennifer muttered under her breath. "I double checked like a million times!" She was panicking as she rummaged through her bag.

Ronon could tell she was getting anxious again. Jen was shaking a little. He reached out and placed his hand against her arm. "It's okay," he said reassuringly.

Jen looked at him and took a breath, trying to relax. She finally found them and smiled embarrassingly. "Sorry, just…"

"Nervous?"

Jennifer nodded slowly.

"Why?" he asked.

"It's the first time in a very long time that… I… had anyone, any… man in my house." She looked away as she took the key and slipped it into the keyhole.

Ronon touched her shoulder and turned her to face him. "I can always stay somewhere else if you aren't comfortable with me being here."

"No! I mean… it's okay. Really. I want you to stay," she told him.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." She unlocked the door and pushed it opened. She got a whiff of the air; it smelled just as it had before she left… like i_home/i_. Jen's face lit up and she immediately relaxed as she stepped over the threshold. She flicked the light switch. Everything was just as she had left it.

Ronon lingered in the doorway.

Jen looked over her shoulder and grinned slowly. "You're i_allowed/i_ in."

Ronon smirked, setting their bags down, and closed the door behind him.

oooooooooooooooo

After two large pizzas, a pint of ice cream, and a bowl of popcorn between the both of them, they lounged on the couch together – stuffed. Jen had her arms wrapped around her knees as she sat next to Ronon. They had decided, after much debate, on a DVD they'd both enjoy. It was moments like this that she missed being home.

It hadn't taken Jen long to fall asleep. She snuggled up close to Ronon and he smiled to himself as he draped his arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer. He made sure not to wake her. Soon, he fell asleep with his head resting against hers.

Jennifer hadn't realized she dozed off until she stirred a couple of hours later. It was still pretty late. The sun hadn't risen yet, but the movie had ended. She tried to wiggle out of Ronon's embrace without waking him, but failed miserably.

"What time is it?" he asked groggily.

"It's around three am. I made up the guest room earlier," she told him.

Ronon stretched his arms out over his head and yawned.

Jen rose from the couch and padded softly around to the other side. "It's this way," she said quietly.

Ronon – not really wanting to move—got up and followed behind her as she lead him to the spare room. He settled down onto the bed. Before Jen could turn off the light and leave, he called out her name.

Jen turned. "Yeah?"

"Why'd you leave this place?"

"What?" She was a little confused by the question.

"It seems peaceful, quiet… normal. Why wouldn't you want to stay?"

Jen wasn't sure how to answer the question. She shrugged her shoulders a little. "It was an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. How many people get the chance to travel to other worlds? To help people from across the universe? It still blows my mind." She walked over to the bedside and sat down. "I was chosen to join the expedition and as much as I love it here, I knew that I belonged in Atlantis."

"Even after everything that's happened?"

"It's never easy, but I can't imagine returning to this life." Jennifer looked at him. "Why do you stay?"

Ronon had struggled with that very question on several occasions. It never really admitted out loud why he had stayed. "It's… home."

Jen smiled. "Yes it is." She squeezed his hand lightly and stood up. "Goodnight, Ronon," she whispered.

Ronon grabbed a hold of her hand and stopped her. "Jen?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Jen smiled and he let go. She headed out of the room and closed the door behind her.

oooooooooooooooo

Both slept most of the next day away. It was early afternoon when Jen finally rose from her restful sleep. It'd been a long time since she was able to sleep in. Even on her days off, it wasn't easy to get a good night's rest. She had prepared a late breakfast for Ronon before they were supposed to visit her aunt.

They stood outside the front door of her aunt's house. "Aunt Susan can be a bit eccentric but she'll love you," she explained.

Ronon wasn't accustomed to meeting 'the family'. He'd had a somewhat similar experience with Melena's family. But they'd grown up together and their families were close, making the situation different than the one he was in now. He wasn't going to outwardly admit it, but he was a little bit nervous.

It didn't help when Jen's aunt answered the door dressed in a bright flowery dress, her hair rolled in curlers, and her face covered in cosmetic mishaps.

Ronon stared, just a little, when her aunt gave a very enthused greeting.

"Hello! Oh, look at you! You look so i_thin/i_ and your friend…" Aunt Susan's smile broadened. "So… i_big/i_." She winked at her niece.

Jennifer blushed. "Aunt Susan, this is Ronon. Ronon, this is my aunt."

"What does he i_do/i_?" Susan looked Ronon over.

Ronon cleared his throat.

"Um…" Neither one had thought about coming up with a cover story to tell her family.

"I'm head of security at the medical center," he said confidently.

Jennifer looked at Ronon, a little surprised that he just came up with that and with such poise.

"Forgive me, come in, come in… I just finished making a i_fruitcake/i_! It's delicious and very tangy."

Ronon looked from Aunt Susan to Jen.

Jennifer chuckled, seeing the panic in Ronon's face. "I'll protect you," she whispered to him.

After another large dinner and… dessert, Jennifer and Ronon said their goodbyes. Once outside and down the walkway, Ronon turned to Jen and narrowed his eyes. "Never subject me to that again."

Jen laughed as she took hooked her arm around Ronon's. "I told you the fruitcake was evil, just like the IOA."

"Fruit and cake shouldn't taste like that." Ronon lead Jennifer down the sidewalk, heading in the direction of her place which a few blocks away.

"I'll make it up to you," she promised.

"How?" he asked, intrigued.

"I'll think of something." Jennifer smirked. "Do you want to come with me to the Wisconsin State Fair? It has all sorts of rides, games, and the i_best/i_ junk food around," she said elatedly.

oooooooooooooooo

The second night together, they fell asleep in each other's arms again. They woke sometime in the middle of the night and talked for a couple of hours before sleeping the rest of the night and most of the day away. That evening Jennifer dragged Ronon along with her to the Wisconsin State Fair.

Ronon had one requirement for his attendance; she had to promise there wouldn't be any fruitcake. Jennifer couldn't resist the urge to tease him and she was beginning to understand why Colonel Sheppard found it so amusing. It was so easy sometimes.

It was a fun night; they played a lot of different games, rode on some of the rides, and had hotdogs for dinner. There was a little persuasion on Jen's part to get Ronon to participate, but in the end he obliged. It was getting late and before heading back to her house, she needed to do one more thing… She couldn't leave without one of her favorite things from the fair – cotton candy.

"You eat cotton?" he asked, watching her pick off a piece of the pink candy.

She couldn't help but laugh a little. "No, silly. It's not real cotton. It consists of one hundred percent sugar that's whipped into this fluffy substance. It's very yummy," she explained. Jen pulled off a piece and offered it to him.

Ronon looked at her for a long moment before leaning down and taking a bite of the candy from her fingers. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it tasted really sweet and melted as soon as it touched his tongue.

Jennifer giggled softly. "You have some on your face," she pointed out. "Here." She reached up and wiped the stray piece from his chin.

Ronon snapped his teeth at her hand playfully.

Jennifer flinched, jerking her hand away. It took her a moment to figure it out and when she did, she punched him lightly in the shoulder.

Ronon let out a hearty laugh as he put his arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. They continued to walk around the fairgrounds. They didn't talk very much, but it didn't matter. It wasn't the uncomfortable silence; it was the perfect silence between two people who cherished and trusted each other without trying too hard.

Jennifer was the one to finally break the silence. "I wanted to thank you for coming with me."

"No need," he told her.

"It was important to me and means a lot," she said. "I don't have many close friends back on Atlantis that I can share this part of my life with. But with you, it's… easy. Comfortable… safe."

Their eyes met. "I wanted to come. I like spending time with you," Ronon said, his voice softer than normal.

"After wondering for the longest time what a girl like me was doing in Atlantis?" she laughed a little.

"That's not fair," he said, genuinely surprised by her comment.

Jennifer frowned. "I'm sorry. I know. I just…"

Ronon stopped and turned to face Jen. He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "It doesn't matter what my first impressions were. What matters… is now."

"What's your impression now?" she asked, quietly.

There was some hesitation in his answer. Not because he wasn't telling the truth, but because of the nature of his answer. It wasn't easy for him to admit his feelings (unless it was along the lines of aggression) and even more difficult to say them out loud. It had been a very long time since he uttered such words to another being, and he never dreamed he ever would again, until Jennifer. He swallowed and took a breath before speaking, "You're strong and beautiful… someone worth getting to know."

Jen's face flushed a bright red, her body fidgeted self-consciously, and her started fumbling with her words again. "No, I… I'm not-"

Ronon cut her off, "Yes, you are. I wish you… I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Everyday."

She lowered her eyes, shrugging her shoulders a little. "I'm not used to people telling me that."

Ronon lifted her chin again, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I've learned a lot coming with you here…"

"You have?"

"Yes. We aren't so different, you and me. Sateda… Earth, our worlds aren't all that different, and you aren't all that different from me," he said.

"I… don't understand."

He wasn't always good with words. "Our cultures might be different, but the way we care, the way we trust, the way we… love. It's the same," he explained.

Jennifer looked at Ronon questioningly.

It wasn't simple for him to tell her what was in his heart. It made him vulnerable and that made him uncomfortable, but part of him felt safe confessing the truth to her. "Coming to Earth helped me realized how I really feel about you, Jen. I… I love you."

Jennifer widened her eyes, her heart raced, and her hands started to tremble. "You…?"

Ronon leaned in close, pressed his lips to hers, and kissed her affectionately.

When their lips met, Jennifer was surprised by the action and by the words that had preceded it. Her body had a different initial reaction; her body pressed up against his, her arms wrapped around his waist, and she returned the kiss.

Ronon held onto her, not breaking the contact between them.

Once they parted, Jennifer felt his warm breath against her lips as he rested his forehead against hers. She looked into his eyes, a smile lighting up her face. "Ronon, I love you too," she said with confidence and ease.

He hugged her tightly.

Jen looked at him. "I thought you were going to say that the one thing you learned from coming to Earth was to never touch fruitcake," she said with a small laugh.

Ronon grinned and ruffled her hair. "That too."


End file.
